i feel constipated.. something is not aligned.. like a knotted muscle.
yesterday was my sister's birthday so i treated her to a spa massage. the two previous therapists who worked on me before crystalized my belief that all therapists there are quite good.
but i guess thats the thing that interferes with contentment.. the comparisons. as the young therapist chopped my back with sharp jabs, i felt my muscles tensing more than relaxing and i prayed the massage would end.. i kept telling her to make it lighter, and she would lessen the pressure, but later on she would go back again to attacking my tense muscles.
next time, i will memorize the name of the previous therapist who knew what i needed.
well at least my sister liked the massage.
i am at the frickin office and again i am sooooo bored. i know there are people to follow up, minutes of the meeting to write, stupid press releases...
i can re-discover my love for this job, or find an outlet for my wild side being tame too long annoys me.
i am a novelty seeker and if i dont find something new to do, or a new idea to dissect, iget bored.
boredy bored bored.
i wished i hadnt reacted to her blog. it is simple really. feelings are feelings there is no right or wrong.
i remember getting teary eyed when she said the one person she wanted to be with her during that late night interview at a call center was her other ex.. and though i was encouraging her to find out why she is bothered about N's certain confessions... it bothered me that it bothers her at all...
i accept i will get pangs of this. after all, i have felt so secure in her love. i have to condition myself that it wont be forever, so when her affections swing towards other people, i wont be bothered.
my security shouldnt be latched on her affections, or on any other people's loves..
God, heal me.