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Nov. 21st, 2006 @ 07:55 am Believe
Current Mood: awakeawake
without fail, i check her un-updated blog everyday hoping to learn how she is doing.. i wonder. will i be jealous if she is dating now? ofcourse...

she made me feel so secure and spoiled with the thought that she will love only me.. breaking up with her i must consider the possibility that she will fall out of love one day. and that would be sad.. but that's fair.

here i am exploring my inner and outer selves.. meeting people.. opening my heart to everything.. I know I still love Karen and I am not ready to foray into another romantic relationship yet until i am comfortable with my sexuality and have a healthier love of self... but nonetheless i havent thought what i will feel if i find out she is over me.

loving myself more and more.. i know i'll find the courage to really let her go. whenever i drive to san juan, or see a thing that reminds me of her, all i could think of is getting back together once my life seminar is done...

but i know i shouldn't be thinking about her as my comfort blanky.. i am my own comfort blanky and i can be strong enough to love myself without sucking other people's supply...

i just need to believe i am complete with or without her.

i need to believe.
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